I Have Had My Heart Broken

Love Comes, and Love Goes

What makes people you thought you knew once, now strangers? What has time done? What is the lesson to learn?
Lately I have retreated as a hermit to heal my broken heart. While shocked by the sudden impact of a well rehearsed pattern of confusion, this confused me. The tie that once bounded us together, somehow got lost in a pattern of knots. I can't untie someone else's knots, I have my own to untie. But as not to complicate my moment of disillusion, I only want to simplify all I have experienced, solemn peaceful and alone I can only heal my part that is broken.
There are no words of comfort for many of us react so differently to a 'break up' or a disengagement or a departure of one we once loved. Even though they are alive, it is a death and a part of me seems to go with it. True I speak from my heart and it is my heart that I am speaking from. I'm not ashamed, why should I? As hard as this outcome has been for me, you too, once have experienced this closure, this departure, this detachment…of a love that is now, gone.
I do remain faithful to being naked with my feelings as I do with all my writings because that is the only way I can express myself to you reading this. Yes, I do love to write late into the night because it's quite. The night is peaceful and my words are calm just as I am, and just as sensitive, I am being true to myself.


Many of my friends here have ventured to glorious gains in love and for that I commend you and wish you the best. As for those of us sweeping up the tears or the questions on the floor as to where it went wrong? I sweep the answers if any too.
But I have no answers. I have all I have ever wanted out of one I once loved, late, but got the truth. Regardless of the outcome, the truth is all I wanted. This could take weeks, months even years for some. Though many of us remain haunted by never knowing what was true and have had to make the healing journey alone. I can only remain consistent with myself. I have to enjoy my life even when the challenges are faced with emotional hardship of losing someone I have loved. The pain comes and goes.
Memories are reminded by time during the longest of days and nights. The thought of keeping extra busy makes me nauseous for I just want to rest. We all heal differently, so I will be calm and withdraw just a bit. Perhaps, to learn another life's lesson and to further understand why we meet people only to not really know them as we leave them. The return of strangers is strange to me, for my memory is long.
Though I will keep the pleasant times with me and slowly discard sweeping the anger, the disappointment off the floor and throw it away. I don't need the garbage. I don't want to hoarder the past with garbage. I am cleaning my inner house, taking care of me. I wish you well in cleaning yours. For it is said, it is wonderful to have loved, than not have loved at all. I will mend gratefully and let go slowly my disappointment of loss love. Take the risk again when I feel I'm ready. Be well.
I love you.