Beauty of Her Own Mystery

She a beauty of her own mystery
you want to know her more
but won't leave her comfort zone
you have to accept her as she is.
when I ask her something
she pauses, may not answer
maybe I have violated lines
only to exacerbate feelings
a roaring thunderstorm in her
no intention to hurt
but it does
and that makes us blue,
so we ride the storm
with apologies
forgiveness and understanding
we are worth knowing
as friends do.
She has all the wonders of a sweet soul
that rides the clouds of calm
in the bluest of skies
just like her eyes
if I can only see because I am blind
Right now she retreats in the stillness
of her mind
regain her strength
her compassion
her will to journey on
and I am still in awe of her
all that she is, all that she will be
even when she thinks less of herself
I will always be
in awe of the beauty
of her mystery.

A miss, I shall not Forget (Poem)

I am here with my thoughts

contemplating peace

in wonder

somewhere in my mind

once confused

now amused by the peace in my heart

keeps missing you

where ever you are

our communication is missed

with a kiss of kindness

covered by clouds of gray

let it rain to wash the tears we once had

let sun take over let it shine

life to short for such petty

as it warms our soul with joy

the memories of you will always bring a song

that only I could sing

a song only the birds can hear

and understand the way I feel for you

still close to me the tune lingers

your words embossed in my heart

with a touch of grace

a miss I shall not forget.

Brittle (Poem)

Today,

 I am brittle. an eggshell.

I am silent in my world of noise

feeling the rise of pain

costing my health to weaken

how much more can I take

when I want no more?

where are the ears to listen

when I wish them to be around?

It is painfully lonely

when others think you've got it all together

not realizing - you can break just as easily as them.

I don't ask for much

but when in time of need

again I cross the finish line

and everyone's gone home.

the streets are bare

as if I was the last human on earth.

Oh God, hear me!

I just want to sleep.

Wish you Were Here,I'm Heartbroken

I wish you were here. I miss talking to you,
we took the time to know each other, we connected so well.
I wish you were here. I'm making the best of things,
even when the outcome is unknown.
I wish you were here. How I need to hear your voice in words, your feelings
a sound of wisdom, reasoning in my ear,
the thoughts in my heart.
I wish you were here, to listen to me, for me to listen to you
when no one is around,  just we two.
I wish you were here, to catch me, for me to catch you,
when we are falling  and  why?
we don't need to be this way, really?
and I'm torn, you're torn, so tired are we
Damn, I... wish you were, here.
I miss you so,
don't you miss me, too?

I Wish I Could Tell You Everything

I wish I can tell you everything. I wish I was strong
but my heart is weak and I can't take the beaten
anymore. I know I can love, but whom?
I have taken too many risks that my recovery time
is not like it use to be. It hurts more
and  the pain is so great, I would rather want to die.
cause I'm not afraid to die, I will welcome it
for I am tired some times of fighting
and here comes faith knocking at my door
the bitch won't leave me alone...Damn!
She rasps my door like the reaper... that jerk
he can kiss my a$$!
My best friend is gone. she died five years ago.
and I have no one that can vouch for me
and I have to start my life over again for the umpteenth time
and I'm tired, so tired.
Tired of people telling me stupid things that I already know
and you don't want to hear them
you just want them to gently go away... because
even though they mean well, it hurts me more...get it!
So stop it.. leave me alone
 to fix myself as I've always done.
Some things you just can't change
some things you don't want to change
some things don't need changing
they just need to be... re-arranged.
So while it may seem funny that I act
so stupid and naive and like a child
well it is the child in me coming out
saying... I'm hurt damn it, let me hurt
for a while...
days like today, I wish my parents were around
my pop would say some stupid joke
and my mom would give the best hugs in the world
God, I'd take them both right now
a stupid joke and that sweet hug...
maybe that tissue from my best friend
saying... you'll be better when you let it all out.
So I wish I could tell you everything
even when I am strong
but I can't take the beaten
my heart has taken, anymore.

Poem: Late Night Thought Show

I'm sitting here with a small cigar
smoking it down to the quick
sipping wine, kicking back
and...
Don't know why
I'm thinking about you
but I am
maybe something in our conversation
you got to me
and it's driving me crazy
I don't figure you out
I don't wanna figure anything out
I'm just thinking about you
hey I'm just being me here
shooting out the side of by mouth
alone quiet in complete solitude
dangerous with my thoughts
my thoughts about you.
Hey did I tell you about the time...
Well I guess I did
I said too much
maybe too little
I don't care
I'm just being me.
Yeah, I'm a loner
so what?
I only care what's going on
right now
you got to me
you really got to me
and
I must have gotten you
cause
my thoughts about you
are driving me... crazy.
Biting me bad.