I wish...

I wish I could take back all I said

I know I hurt you

which hurt me badly too.

But I felt I had to defend myself

my true self.

Even if I am in transition to better myself

I want you to know I will be the person you know

better than before.

I know wherever you are,

I know deep down, you want that for me, too.

Not a day will go by

that I will think about you

I wish you would think about me too

I want to see how strong I can be

so you can be proud of me

as I am proud of you.

No matter where I go what I do

whom I meet

I will always wonder

the look on your face

meeting you

face to face.

God, help me

I miss you so fucking much.

that I wonder, if you miss me, too.

I love you.

Beauty of Her Own Mystery

She a beauty of her own mystery
you want to know her more
but won't leave her comfort zone
you have to accept her as she is.
when I ask her something
she pauses, may not answer
maybe I have violated lines
only to exacerbate feelings
a roaring thunderstorm in her
no intention to hurt
but it does
and that makes us blue,
so we ride the storm
with apologies
forgiveness and understanding
we are worth knowing
as friends do.
She has all the wonders of a sweet soul
that rides the clouds of calm
in the bluest of skies
just like her eyes
if I can only see because I am blind
Right now she retreats in the stillness
of her mind
regain her strength
her compassion
her will to journey on
and I am still in awe of her
all that she is, all that she will be
even when she thinks less of herself
I will always be
in awe of the beauty
of her mystery.

 The snow storm has passed. I have two days of photos taken from my front door walkway.
I have no idea how long it will take to shovel my way out, as I'm not getting younger... lol!
Though I and grateful not to lose power, for a bit it seemed touch and go. You never know what a storm can bring... Going out every two hours to shovel my front walk way as it is my only way out... I'll be resting with a good night's sleep.
I hope everyone that had gone through this is safe.
Everyone stayed off the roads... but I do dread if we can venture out Monday... we shall see. Be safe and enjoy the quiet treacherous beauty that Winter can be.