I love Cyrano De Bergerac. I can relate to him.... not by a nose mind you... I like my nose. But by an imperfection. While Cyrano's low self -esteem low self confidence was his ugly nose, mine was eczema ..it was called running eczema because it never stay too long in one place. This use to drive me nuts growing up and dating. I felt as if i had Leprosy - really. Sad because my mom and pop felt bad for me too. It did help much that I had already wore glasses much less felt ugly with those nasty red patches of skin. my parents introduced me to the Edmond Rostand's lovely book based on Hercule Savien de Cyrano de Bergerac, the real Cyrano.
Since then I have always felt a kinship with Cyrano. No longer I have those ugly skin patches and I like wearing my glasses.. I find they make me look sexy! lol ! I have boosted my self confidence since then even though it was a long painful journey.
I was always curious why someone not so attractive would be arm to arm with a beautiful man or woman.
My father and mother use to say, " I can think of only three things: either your loaded ( money wise), have a nice package and can do wonders in the bedroom or you have a beautiful heart and soul."
I picked number three... and my parents thought the same thing. One should really pick the beauty of your heart and soul for it brings out the external beauty much more attractive, makes you irresistible. Beauty IS only skin deep.
When we are young the hormones rage, we just want to experience all carnal... until soul meets soul and takes us deeper in the realm…. That realm of love.
Like Cyrano, I am a poet and quite artful in writing love letters.
Thanks Cyrano, you are lovely!
xoxo
Katherine
To you, my lover, my friend, the other half of my joy, the enhancement of my life...
I have been writing to you, since before you were born. I know I have had to wait many a long years. When I was young, I looked for you feverishly,
even though I would not meet you until later, much later in my years...each encounter, each woman I meet , has given me a quality you already have,
but have not developed or haven't discovered. I use to believe I would be with an older woman... but as time moves on, I woke up one glorious day to discover that
I, would be the older one.
But you already know age has no meaning to us both. Our encounter would be as we had dreamed so many nights when we were alone
sending each other messages in our sleep... looking at the sensuous clouds fornicating in mid air. And perhaps dote at your impressionistic
energy I once had and now so nicely tamed.
I want you to know that I have been respectful to each woman I have met or bedded. That I have loved her truly whether it was platonic or carnal.
That I have been consistent in how I behave with them... respectful, loyal, and gracious.
But deep down inside my soul none of them have taken my thoughts and feelings I yearn for you.
I see you in the stars at night when I take my telescope and look to see when you might arrive in my heart, fall in my arms
embrace me in a way no other has, Touch me in a way our skin will meld together like taffy pulled in all directions.
I feel you near, yet far but you know I never say never and nothing is impossible if we have to go to the ends of the earth to meet
one another..
Is it telepathy? Are you sending me messages too, love?
For I feel the timbers of some wondrous love coming my way.
I must confess I didn't sleep last night, I couldn't. You kept me awake to hear your sweet soul.
Do you fancy yourself searching for me in places you dare not to tread, but you do.. I may not be as mysterious as you are
but I do have my moments.
I want you to know that I have never stopped learning our human condition... that I'm not frumpy at me age..
Actually I feel younger than I do now...leaving the haunting of my past behind and taking only loving memories.
Yes it was hard to let go of some women because I felt so strongly attached too.
But I let them go because we knew we were not each other’s piece of this puzzle of love.
I have no regrets crying myself to sleep... wondering when I will meet or see you.
Sometimes yes. I have been impatient and stubborn as well.
My will is strong and I have survived many challenges you wouldn't understand about my life... until perhaps now.
For you are still the woman I desire most to share my life with completely
we can be scared of the unknown for it is a surprise.
I only wish you to be strong and believe in yourself and know you have purpose in your life
that you are good deep loving woman with a young girl's soul like mine
How I long to spend a playful loving life with you
be adventurous and be ourselves with each other.
Wherever you are love, you’re bringing me close to you at your own pace
so
hug me as you hug your pillow and believe in your dreams.
Sleep with the angels to keep you safe.
It won't be long.
Love,
me
How many times have we’ve heard that phrase in our life? Plenty of times.
I understand your friends try to be helpful and sincere in giving advice, but do they REALLY understand your big picture of Life? Do they understand what you are going through ? Are you aware on how much they pay attention to you, your writings, your conversations, text messages, etc. Do they listen? Do you listen and pay attention to your friend as they are trying to communicate with you?
Are you taking them for granted? Are they taking you for granted?
Communication IS a two way street. Not a three-way text, not a group meeting.
You and I have friends. We all need to communicate. Set limits, boundaries, learn to share, be confidential, learn to listen and be honest. Time management comes to mind these days as we live in the Fast food world of communication. We can now communicate by so many wireless gadgets at anytime anywhere that setting limits are a must…that is if we want to sleep or concentrate on an activity. This instant communication can be a nuisances if those limits are not set. We blame the friend instead of ourselves for interrupting our life….REALLY?
Or we just didn’t set a limit by saying “ Sorry, busy at the moment. Will get back to you as soon as I can.”
I find texting very useful in a quick contact drop a subject sort of thing. Email can be a way to express a note FYI or can be a way of expression much the way paper and pen use to be…but still can be impersonal because you don ’t feel the emotion of the person writing the email as in a letter.. is it their handwriting that gives the emotional expression that at times we can’t find in an email? The art in gathering the right words to place on paper have been replaced by instant gratification of emotionless words just to answer quickly the next line. Again, impersonal.
But is it too late to change the way we communicate even though technology is above the old letter writing days? Some how I miss those letter writing days. That personal touch, seeing someone’s script on a card or a letter still sends an emotional current up my spine as if I am connected one with the sender. You know how that feels, do you? Perhaps you may have forgotten.
Long ago there was an art of letter writing. We had a writing desk, personal stationary, note cards for every occasion, a fine writing tool, and a personal wax seal. We wrote how we felt, the goings on within our family, friends, how we have missed you and wishing you were here. These letters were kept in boxes, tied with ribbon, some in a coat breast pocket close to the heart.
These letters meant something then. So what do we have for keepsakes, emails? A few text messages? They don’t give off the same passion as something more personal as seeing your emotions on script. Then again, we may have really forgotten to express how we humanly feel between each other - the fast and the furious of technology has made us mechanical and impersonal. Too busy to acknowledge a hurt send out a loving sentiment receive a compliment or voice a rational thought.
Tell me, when was the last time you really had a lovely exchange with someone without them cutting you off saying “they’re too busy”. When was the last time someone said to you, “thank you, for thinking of me and I too, have missed you.” Easier said than done.Right?
I love you, Katherine
I am sorry to hear of the passing of Hollywood's Cleopatra... The beautiful Elizabeth Taylor.
For those who are not familiar with her work, Elizabeth has been in the film industry since
a small child. Most prominent "National Velvet" with Mickey Rooney.
When I was a child and asked my parents about Elizabeth Taylor...
My mother would say....She is beautiful, she has violet color eyes, while my father would say, she turned out
to be a real tough cookie in films.
While Elizabeth was well known for her many marriages... I believe 7 but I could be wrong.
Twice with Richard Burton.
All of her films are memorable and she has had a spectacular career, no doubt.
I am a film buff. My recommendations on Elizabeth Taylor Films are as followed:
Lassie Come Home - with Roddy McDowall
National velvet - with Mickey Rooney
Father of the bride - Spencer Tracy
A place in the Sun - Montgomery Cliff
Giant - Rock Hudson, James Dean
The last time I saw Paris - Van Johnson
Cat on a hot tin Roof - Paul Newman
Suddenly, Last Summer - Katharine Hepburn, Montgomery Cliff, Lawrence Harvey
Butterfield 8 - Lawrence Harvey, Eddie Fisher
Cleopatra - Richard Burton, Rex Harrison
Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf - Richard Burton
All of her films are wonderful. But the above I do recommend for those not familiar with her.
My parents watched her grow up on films and said...Anything Elizabeth does, is worth watching. Just because she's
beautiful, don't take that for granted - she has done a wide range of roles and has paid her dues many times over.
Along with being a great actress, Elizabeth was an activist for Aids standing by her friend Rock Hudson.
She has worked with the best in the film industry.
My final words:
I will miss you Elizabeth Taylor. Thank you so much for being in our lifetime.
You will always remain the most Spectacular Actress way after many of your friends
and beloved friends have passed.
You are bigger than CinemaScope!
You Rock, Babes.
It has been a lonely road. But I knew I had to take it. Part of me said, “ I must do this on my own, I need to feel I personally achieved this.” That was several careers ago. I have learned to survive, with little or no help from no one. What I have accomplished is simply this: Survive.
I have always said to myself, if I wish to be in this world to work, I need to do something fun. The majority of my working world has been that, fun. Why should I be tied down to do things I don’t want to do… well I don’t. But hear many complaints of people who do and that’s their problem, not mine. I don’t waste my time with people who can do something about their situation., especially in regards to what they want to do.
Hmmm. That’s seems to be a wise, yet stupid question one would ask a stranger
Just meeting online…what do you want to do? This can be either most inquiring as to why pry if I don’t know myself, as many here can tell you. But some of us know and readily answer the question because the answer is some achievement. Perhaps it is an achievement so long overdue. Then again, it could be the answer of the moment. To me the answer of the moment captures my Now existence which only I can change. Though how many of us don’t take the will to change our present situation which leaves to drama and complaints. UGH!
I say if you don’t know what you are going to do with your life, it’s ok by me, because you really don’t. And do we really want to answer truthfully or make up something to satisfy us and the person asking the question.
As aforementioned, the road we take to do what we truly want to do with our lives comes from within and only with time it will reveal itself.
I knew I wanted to be a writer, so this dream came into fruition at 40, 40? Are you crazy! I’m only 25 and I know what I want. Well good for you and hope your life’s journey is filled with the rewards of your achievements. As for me, a few books self-published, a published writer may put down a self-publisher because of no agent, no backing, no promotion and no line ups for interviews nor reviews of a self-publishers’ work. Its sad to be compared liked that but that crap does happen. I have to do everything to promote, make newsworthy of my work, etc. But at least I can say, I did this all on my own and it was worth all the blood and sweat.
So if you are doing what you love with all the blood and sweat involved - hooray for you. If you are still wondering, ask yourself if you believe in your dreams? Do you? Sometimes we have to self -sacrifice ourselves from personal relationships to accomplish things personal in our lives to make us the individuals that we truly are. Some of us achieve well with a mate cheering us on. Whatever your life takes you… go for it. As they say, ’we only go around once in this lifetime’. And what a lifetime it is as you look back. I have no regrets and not wish do repeat and do things differently… I’m too tired and to me, it wouldn’t be worth it to come so far still surviving in the living and having to start all over again from scratch.
Though that is where I am now. A writer starting over in the working world because health circumstances and being a caregiver as taken part of what makes me alive is on hold. But I write to say how I feel. Not to complain, but to tell you the challenges you may face in your quest to do what you want can take several detours. Not knowing the outcome can be overwhelming. Though know in your heart to strive to do your best and to strive to do your best. In times when you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel and all is dark, do you find strength within to continue with your ’gut’ instincts? Some of us do, some of us just give up, And we all have our reasons.
For me to express myself on the page means I am alive to tell all I have been through. It may help, it may not help someone who is weak in strength of sheer will to continue. It is up to you what you want to do with your life. I wish you peace and hopefully a pleasant life’s journey and it’s ok if you don’t know. Just be kind and open to all possible opportunities that await you… even if the opportunities are not received with open arms. Yes, it has been a lonely road.
I love you,
K’
