Gently, Tell me (written 2007)

There is an ache in my heart
where it once fluttered
there are tears
distorting the vision of your face
there is a coldness, a frostbite that won’t heal
where deep emotions existed and surrounded me with warmth.

Yet,
there is a distance between us that could benefit us both
benefit by way of healing, for solitude is a great re-juvenator
to our individualism.

Yet,
I am lost without words
I wait patiently
for my silence alone is not enough to sustain
the deep absence I have of you in my heart
where my spirit still hopes and yearns.

Yet,
I only wish you to heal in hopes that you recognize
how much you mean to me and if you wanted to see me
it can be done only if you are interested
for this will not work one sided
it will take both our effort to evolve
from this intrigue for each other, very slowly,
for I have not felt such joy ring and shake me so greatly.

Now,
I feel almost lost searching for your letters
in an empty mailbox or rereading the notes we so freely
passed between us, I don’t want that to end.
I only wish you well and I cannot and have not lied
of how I have felt about you.

So please,
if you are not in the least bit
interested in me romantically
be so kind to gently tell me,
this way I can stop being a fool
swept away with this aura of love
this beautiful intrigue
and be left alone to cry and tug my heart
to stop playing that sweet, sweet song
that has moved me so.

Personally,
it will take me
a long time to recover
from something so close to love
that I sincerely doubt if I can ever
pen up a feeling similar to this again.