I missed you

I heard a distant boom coming from outside...then the power, lights out. I'm writing  by candlelight and its oh so quiet. I can hear the sound of my typing you this and hear myself breathe. Candles flickering steady keeping a beat of my writing the feelings I have been missing for a very long time. I've been in contact with an old friend I haven't heard in 33 years. "Do you remember me?" she said. Oh how I have missed her we've picked up as much as we can talk till 2 or 3AM... she's on vacation, I'm on Disability. It's been a blessing to hear how much we've missed and how our lives have turned out this far. We haven't felt at all like strangers in all these years that have passed. more like school girls catching up from a weekend away from each other and sharing all that's gone on. Births, deaths and crazy episodes life threatening illnesses, happiness as well as lots of sorrow. Did you think I was dead? she said. Wondering what I'd say. No I never thought that. I just did know where you were. But I have missed you and often thought so much about you and wondered if you thought of me that way too.

She said I have left messages here since last November. I said that I didn't receive them till I got your friend request. Once I confirmed your friend request all the messages pour in. Even your very first message you sent last November came in. I read all of them from beginning to end. I cried and cried like a baby feeling so bad within my heart was full then breaking up all at the same time. I couldn't  say sorry enough and forgive me forgive me for if I knew all would have been right sooner. But time has its way and like a stubborn child will throw its fit to the wind. Where it lands it can stir your soul and take you some place solemn of those memories way back when. We tried to call each other and how I long your voice to hear. Found out your damn phone plan didn't cover my country so that thought went to hell. So much time has passed on. I said: "Don't think of leaving another 30 years or I'll kill your ass I swear." I don't want to lose you ever again, you're so much like family. If you died now I could understand. We have this weekend coming to talk freely. But come Monday our schedules will change and our talks will have to adjust some way. But yes I have missed you and often thought of you through these years of our joys and our pain.

The power has yet to come back and have to end this here. I'll write another episode of life when I can see a bit better, a bit clear. Candles dancing in quiet  music of breath and heartbeats along with some tears. Good Night!