Because, I've been thinking about you...

To you, my lover, my friend, the other half of my joy, the enhancement of my life...

I have been writing to you, since before you were born. I know I have had to wait many a long years. When I was young, I looked for you feverishly,
even though I would not meet you until later, much later in my years...each encounter, each woman I meet , has given me a quality you already have,
but have not developed or haven't discovered. I use to believe I would be with an older woman... but as time moves on, I woke up one glorious day to discover that
I, would be the older one.
But you already know age has no meaning to us both. Our encounter would be as we had dreamed so many nights when we were alone
sending each other messages in our sleep... looking at the sensuous clouds fornicating in mid air. And perhaps dote at your impressionistic
energy I once had and now so nicely tamed.
I want you to know that I have been respectful to each woman I have met or bedded. That I have loved her truly whether it was platonic or carnal.
That I have been consistent in how I behave with them... respectful, loyal, and gracious.
But deep down inside my soul none of them have taken my thoughts and feelings I yearn for you.
I see you in the stars at night when I take my telescope and look to see when you might arrive in my heart, fall in my arms
embrace me in a way no other has, Touch me in a way our skin will meld together like taffy pulled in all directions.
I feel you near, yet far but you know I never say never and nothing is impossible if we have to go to the ends of the earth to  meet
one another..
Is it telepathy? Are you sending me messages too, love?
For I feel the timbers of some wondrous love coming my way.
I must confess I didn't sleep last night, I couldn't. You kept me awake to hear your sweet soul.
Do you fancy yourself searching for me in places you dare not to tread, but you do.. I may not be as mysterious as you are
but I do have my moments.
I want you to know that I have never stopped learning our human condition... that I'm not frumpy at me age..
Actually I feel younger than I do now...leaving the haunting of my past behind and taking only loving memories.
Yes it was hard to let go of some women because I felt so strongly attached too.
But I let them go because we knew we were not each other’s piece of this puzzle of love.
I have no regrets crying myself to sleep... wondering when I will meet or see you.
Sometimes yes. I have been impatient and stubborn as well.
My will is strong and I have survived many challenges you wouldn't understand about my life... until perhaps now.
For you are still the woman I desire most to share my life with completely
we can be scared of the unknown for it is a surprise.
I only wish you to be strong and believe in yourself and know you have purpose in your life
that you are good deep loving woman with a young girl's soul like mine
How I long to spend a playful loving life with you
be adventurous and be ourselves with each other.
Wherever you are love, you’re bringing me close to you at your own pace
so
hug me as you hug your pillow and believe in your dreams.
Sleep with the angels to keep you safe.
It won't be long.
Love,
me

Easier said than done.

How many times have we’ve heard that phrase in our life? Plenty of times.
I understand your friends try to be helpful and sincere in giving advice, but do they REALLY understand your big picture of Life? Do they understand  what you are going through ? Are you aware on how much they pay attention to you, your writings, your conversations, text messages, etc. Do they listen? Do you listen and pay attention to your friend as they are trying to communicate with you?
Are you taking them for granted? Are they taking you for granted?

Communication IS a two way street. Not a three-way text, not a group meeting.
You and I have  friends. We all  need to communicate. Set limits, boundaries, learn to share, be confidential, learn to listen and be honest. Time management comes to mind these days as we live in the Fast food world of communication. We can now communicate by so many wireless gadgets at anytime anywhere that setting limits are a must…that is if we want to sleep or concentrate on an activity. This instant communication can be a nuisances if those limits are not set. We blame the friend instead of ourselves for interrupting our life….REALLY?
Or we just didn’t set a limit by saying “ Sorry, busy at the moment. Will get back to you as soon as I can.”

I find texting  very useful in a quick contact drop a subject sort of thing. Email can be a way to express a note FYI or can be a way of expression much the way paper and pen use to be…but still can be impersonal because you don ’t feel the emotion of the person writing the email as in a letter.. is it  their handwriting that gives the emotional expression that at times we can’t find in an email? The art in gathering the right words to place on paper have been replaced by instant gratification of emotionless words just to answer quickly the next line. Again, impersonal.

But  is it too late to change the way we communicate even though technology is above the old letter writing days? Some how I miss those letter writing days. That personal touch, seeing someone’s script on a card or a letter still sends an emotional current up my spine as if I am connected one with the sender. You know how that feels, do you? Perhaps you may have forgotten.

    Long ago there was an art of letter writing. We had a writing desk, personal stationary, note cards for every occasion, a fine writing tool, and a personal wax seal. We wrote how we felt, the goings on within our family, friends, how we have missed you and wishing you were here. These letters were kept in boxes, tied with ribbon, some in a coat breast pocket close to the heart.

These letters meant something then. So what do we have for keepsakes, emails? A few text messages? They don’t give off the same passion as something more personal as seeing your emotions on script. Then again, we may have really forgotten to express how we humanly feel between each other - the fast and the furious of technology has made us mechanical and impersonal. Too busy to acknowledge a hurt send out a loving sentiment receive a compliment or voice a rational thought.

Tell me, when was the last time you really had a lovely exchange with someone without them cutting you off saying “they’re too busy”. When was the last time someone said to you, “thank you, for thinking of me and I too, have missed you.” Easier said than done.Right?
I love you, Katherine