Random Thoughts -

I write when I have something to say. These last few months gathering my thoughts, absorbing relishing memories and how it adds up with present day reality. 
Spring is here and so are my allergies! It took its toll on me this year - so I struggle like many trying to enjoy the weather while suffering just to breathe!
Time to mow the lawn and grow a garden. The rain this past week has stalled the mowing and the weeds have gone wild. The seedlings are flourishing and I am anticipating a nice small garden for myself. I'm excited about how simple I have my life now - when at one time it was too complicated to figure out some resolution towards peace.

I manage to find peace taking a drive in the county along with my camera, capturing moments of appreciating all that I have - which isn't much. Though I'm all I've got in this world and that's ok. 
I've never dreamed I's be alone. You don't dream those things. Your dreams can be a spectacular technicolor cinematic wonder. whether it comes true, it's up to you. However, there are things in life that happen so unpredictable, so challenging, so unbelievable - they halt and stall the progression attain your dream.... then you wonder, if your dream will ever come true.

 I'm so much like this old house that's still standing, lol. Every time I see it - it's like it wants to say something. I'm sure it holds some very interesting stories. My mind holds many stories and I'm trying to write them down while I still have my long memory intact. I don't care to share everyday life on social media - too much bullshit goes on - plus majority of the time, people don't give a shit what you do - much less care what you are all about. Lots of them are so into themselves, they forget how a simple "hello, how are you?" can lift someone's spirits. When was the last time you lifted someone's spirits?
Instead, I do find stupid rhetoric, trolls posting hateful comments to folks not strong emotionally to take it. Some are downright nasty - you wonder if there is any humanity in them.

You have to have a thick skin to be on social media these days - you never know what you're gonna get. You can post something and people are so offended easily. How did we become so touchy? It's not all about you, nor me...it's just the way it is or isn't it? If  it doesn't make any sense... just roll your eyes and move on.
Looking at this tree, you can see a second tree within...
much like how I have to move around social media. lol!
Have we thrown away consideration and respect for one another? I don't know about you, but I do want to live in peace, not chaos. Peace, is my current dream to come true.
I respect all you have to say - even if I disagree with you and that's ok. That's life. We all have something to say and dreams to share. You've heard the phrase life is a beautiful struggle... Well, it is to me and many. We all try to make the best with what we've got.

 So this is the post I have seen lots on social media - take heed to the message. Personally, I' am a strong people by default. I don't care what you think of me nor I give a shit if you judge me as to who the hell are you to do that. If you can't look me in the eye and tell me how you feel about me... In my neighborhood we'd say...you ain't got no balls.
And as far as your dreams coming true... for me, They can come true anytime cause I still believe in them... no matter how  hard  the struggle in life has been. Hey, it's all temporary.
My memory is long and I'm writing random thoughts while I still have my mind.

Thank you for reading and I welcome your comments with utmost respect. Have a pleasant life's journey. Until next time, I love you, Kat

Born On Valentine's Day!

Being born on Valentine's Day has it's plus and minuses.
Great time if you're a kid... You DO get lots of Valentines for sure... As an adult, it's been blah, blah blah...
Though, I am grateful to be a kind loving human being, who  appreciates the simplest of sweet gestures. I enjoy all who go out of their way, to show how much they care for those they love. It's amazing!
I watched many come out of stores with handful of balloons. Some with bouquets of flowers and candy... some milling over finding the right card that shows the sentiment of their heart.
I was born, on such such a sweet day, indeed.
I may be alone on my Valentine's Birthday, though in spirit, I know I am loved. Loved so much... and grateful to be the person I am today. Love to me is the most beautiful powerful force in the universe which many emotions derive from it.
I have my minuses: few material things I  have in this world.... But my big plus: is my heart. For that, I am the fucking richest woman on Valentine's day!....
Happy Valentine's Day to you! and Happy birthday to me!

Let's Dance!

 The snow storm has passed. I have two days of photos taken from my front door walkway.
I have no idea how long it will take to shovel my way out, as I'm not getting younger... lol!
Though I and grateful not to lose power, for a bit it seemed touch and go. You never know what a storm can bring... Going out every two hours to shovel my front walk way as it is my only way out... I'll be resting with a good night's sleep.
I hope everyone that had gone through this is safe.
Everyone stayed off the roads... but I do dread if we can venture out Monday... we shall see. Be safe and enjoy the quiet treacherous beauty that Winter can be.

Wishing all the best in 2016. Thanks for stopping by!! Will post one.... Coming soon!
A very safe and Happy New Year to you. Love you, Kat

The Best Present to Self

To me, Christmas is a time of giving
 and it's an all year thing. I am a giver my nature - no use changing that! This week I read a beautiful post from a mentor friend of mine who acknowledged me in regards to her work in Extraordinary Thinking - which she created some 30 + years ago. I have been using this method of thinking for 19 years and it's been a life saver - truly. I wanted to share with you an email I wrote to her back in December 2008 as I had just completed Cancer treatment. I wanted to share how grateful I am for living, for being my true SELF. I do understand that this time of year can be rough for many of us, like myself, without family, or friends to share the holidays with. I am okay with this, while many are not... I get it. I do. Though we can look at life as a Debbie Downer and allow the downer to take complete hold of your life... our mindset of the ordinary is like that. But I'm sorry, I don't think that way anymore.

 I strive to be happy and I do want more happiness in my life.Sure I get depressed just like anyone else - I'm still as human as the next... but the difference is - I have learned to set boundaries, time limits that the downs have no right to take over what I truly desire - and that is, to be happy. Just know that you can change for the better by being the best of who you are. Take time away from all the hustle and bustle of life and get to really know your SELF, know who you really are. Clean out your soul house by making amends with yourself. Learn to love, take care of yourself - because you can't depend on others to do that for you - you are your own world. SO if you can take care of yourself, you can easily take care and love others with ease and peace of mind. Things may not be easy, but they are not hard if you go forth and just do it. We take risks and gambles in life, don't we? well take a big risk this coming year in getting to know yourself - you won't regret it... you've heard the saying.... you ARE your own best friend. Then when you are alone this holiday season like myself - you can say, I may be alone -  I'm not sad, but happy to have this time to give my SELF a present and that is to acknowledge and celebrate the person that I am. I am grateful to just breathe. And no matter what religion denomination or higher being you believe in.... know you have the free will to be, just you. It's my desire this inspires you, to try to be your best. I love you, Kat

 Here's the letter:

Dix:

When I think back of all the work I went through with you, I feel relieved. knowing that I can overcome whatever comes my way, any which way, Surprise! Boom! Wham! I'm a great catcher,

I've caught all the balls and I'm still wearing my mitt proudly. And if by chance I drop the ball...which I have, I'll just pick it up and throw it back. But I'm having a grateful time in life doing it.

As I near the end of my 'life interrupted'.... I know that I would not have made it through these pass

9 months...like Baseball the 9 innings without going through the courageous challenge of going through Partswork and learning Extraordinary Thinking and becoming and returning to the Self I was

when born. I would have died without the peace of mind I have in my heart today. I would have given up instead of being a 'Rocky Balboa', being that underdog fighting for what I believe in...which is ME.

I have face all the demons I can face, and have conquered them all. I feel greater than Alexander the Great, the a world Emperor to a mighty empire. Nothing can destroy me because I fought bravely

and believed so hard and knew, that my expiration date is NOT due yet. I still have many things to do and even though my health has given me a 'pause' to my once rushed life, I made amends,

to listen to my body, when it is exhausted and rest accordingly.

From the my many observations at my daily hospital visits for chemo, shots, tests, and radiation there were so many faces I knew and felt would never return. I knew because they had this given-up

look in their eyes....so sad to see... that I would come home crying in accepting that this is THEIR

choice and grateful my choice to fight and live was mine to keep.

No shoulda, woulda, coulda, here. I have accepted all with grace.

And I am not the same person before the cancer, even with the Partwork, it made me a better human being.

So the delay in writing or having writer's block is a myth. I mean what an adventure and challenge, I just went through. All I can think about is getting a tattoo of a skull with crossbones and have engraved on it... Breast Cancer survivor Stage 2  2008 and I will, soon as I get the doc's ok.

This was a different challenge than the first. The first was the Journey out of The Well. This was a war I fought and conquered. It was a game and  I displayed true Sportsmanship, all nine innings, gloriously.

I am eager to hit the keys on my laptop soon. I'm now ready to say what I feel. And I will say how I feel and some may not like it...but hey, it will be the truth because the truth is all I really know...

and you can NEVER go wrong with telling was is true to one's self, right?

All I want for Christmas is a hug from you.

and to thank you for giving me the challenge I couldn't pass up. It's time to tell my story, it is time to change the world and why not? I changed for the better and it gets better every single day. So people have to know that all in life's challenges are small, and temporary, if your belief in yourself -this is greater than life itself. God granted us FREE WILL .... we should wear that medal with true honor and grace.

Thank you for your time to read this. I trust you and Mack are doing well.

Hello to all and you know that I love you so very much.

Kat

Who's The Grown Up Between Us Two (Poem)

Sometimes you lose to gain something new

a lesson to learn and we've learned quite a few

but what you've lost may not be regain

as time is the factor, time is the main.

Someone's wrong can be someone's right

and what looks ahead is not a pleasant sight

for all involved, a circle of storms

mixed together like a bag of worms

mixed together like a bag of worms.

You live in your truth and you are misunderstood

for things you believe, say are good

but some take differently to what you say

they don't think of it as good but more a betray.

So you try and try to explain yourself

but no one listens when anger instills

yet they judge without, hearing your words

and they are just words, words unheard

they are just words, words unheard.

And pain creeps in and surround you

for you meant no harm, but its harmed you

emotionally physically this pain envelopes you

something has died inside with all you're going through.

When you don't read and understand both sides of one

you judge what is wrong without really knowing the one

the reason why they did, what they've done

instead you judge them harshly

sentenced  a friendship, out to be hung.

sentence a friendship, out to be hung.

If you feel I mistrusted you why don't you tell me

why do you hide, why you disown me

is it because your feelings got the best of you

why don't you share what's really inside you?

why don't you own up to what truly

is making you blue?

If  you don't care to listen to whatever I have to say

your way is to disengage doesn't help

while I breathe for peace and a better day

the gift of forgiveness is at play

the gift of forgiveness is at play.

My door is left open while yours is closed

who holds the cards, who has fold-ed

if you value friendship as I do to you

who's the grown up between us two

who 's the grown up between us two.